(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

If you’re reading this, you’re likely celebrating American Thanksgiving or thinking about Shop Local deals. If you’re me, you’re anticipating Saturday’s matchup between Ohio State and Michigan. The Game, as it’s aptly called, has tossed bragging rights back and forth across state lines since 1897.

And while healthy rivalries have the power to motivate and inspire, the real superpower lies in what unifies us. Whether in your workplace or at your Thanksgiving table, the art of finding common ground can create meaningful connections, end conflict, and inspire new ideas.

As a kid, I was lucky enough to learn from a master in this art. He built emotional bridges with people every day by finding common ground. And long before LinkedIn, he developed a huge network of trusted friends and colleagues because of that skill. This amazing human was my grandpa. Whatever gift you had, he could clearly see it and would help you see it too. As I got older, he would...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire)

Today we’re doing a blog takeover featuring the amazing Jennifer Curtis, CEO and Co-founder of Firsthand Foods. Jen and I are in a monthly business mastermind group together and I was inspired by the insights she shared at our October gathering about her recent sabbatical. Today’s post is for anyone who is in pursuit of finding the time and space to recharge at a deep level and what to do with that time…when you get it. Thanks, Jennifer!

“What are you going to do?”

That’s the question everyone asked as I prepared to take my first-ever 6-week sabbatical.

“I don’t know,” was my answer.

Feeling somewhat ashamed that I had nothing planned, I wondered if I was missing out by not going on a big adventure. But something deep inside instructed me otherwise. This was a time to let go of plans, schedules and “shoulds.”

I cleared my Google calendar and erased the household “To Do” list on the side of the refrigerator. I wanted to stay curious. If not direct...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

Today I want to share with you something that struck me recently: the fact that sometimes I get in the way of my own success. It's amazing how we don't see it, isn't it? We think it’s the outside world, but the truth is we sabotage ourselves more often than not. So today I thought I'd help us all get out of our own way.

Here’s what happens: You see an opportunity, and you feel that telltale flip in your stomach that tells you that you really want whatever this is… this new role, new job, new relationship. It’s so perfect for you that you ache for it to be yours! You know what I’m talking about. That desire for something new that makes you feel alive!

But… it’s gonna be a reach, and you know it. You’d have to grow. Even stepping on your tippy toes, this one’s a stretch.

So you envision the cost: potentially embarrassing failure. Because what if you get the opportunity and you blow it? Terrifying! Or what if you apply and they shoot you down without even...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

We're winding down 'Open Book October' and I want to prove that leadership lessons show up in the most unexpected places.

It's the summer of 1994. I'm working three part-time jobs— babysitter to two small boys, customer service rep at an antique store and furniture maker on an Amish farm in Grabill, Indiana. 

That last one is a surprise, right? Well, it's true! That summer I worked for the Sauder family and  made hand-crafted curio cabinets for Bath and Body Works stores across North America. We built, painted, and distressed these beauties until they looked vintage. And my job was to slap the fire retardant coating on each piece before assembly. It could have been worse. 

And, as you might imagine, being the only girl (and Black girl) on team was a bit intimidating at first. Each morning, I would drive the 50 minutes to Amish country and venture down a long gravel driveway surrounded by cornfields to a massive white barn full of sawhorses, 2x4’s ...

(First appeared in WRAL Techwire.)

Thank goodness the weather is breaking. The cooler weather naturally perks me up with the promise of comfy sweaters, cozy cups of coffee on brisk days and a timeout on the humidity. My hair is grateful. Growing up in the Midwest, the turning of the leaves meant after school cheerleading practice, Friday night football games and watching the Big Ten (when there were 10) with my grandpa on Saturday afternoons. Go Buckeyes! And now I get to watch my son Tre play in West Palm Beach, so fall is even more special to this momma’s heart.

Whatever your relationship with Fall, I think it’s the best example of how to embrace change. These next two months will offer a gentle reminder that change is both beautiful and complex. Here are a few ideas to help you embrace it.

Nurture your social connections.

• Call your people and organize a brunch or an outing

• Join that book club you’ve been eyeing

• Schedule a weekly walk routine with a friend

Chec...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

Earlier this week I spoke at the SAS Championship 9th Annual Women’s Day presented by Blue Cross and Blue Shield of North Carolina. My theme: ‘Distinct Choices, Change Courses!’ It’s true, right? Each major life decision we make impacts our happiness, general fulfillment and financial security. These decisions also reverberate off the people that are closest to us – potentially changing their course as well.

Since I declared this month “Open Book October” I want to share two personal examples of how other people’s choices, deeply impacted the way I move and view the world.

FLY AGAINST CONVENTION

My birth story is a made-for-tv movie so I won’t unpack it here today; but let’s just say that my mom defied all 1976 logic when she brought her 9lb bundle of ebony into her ivory world. I grew up in the tiny unincorporated village of Evansport, Ohio. It’s a dot on the map with a population of about 309 people living within its borders… 99.9% of whom were ...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

About once a week, I steal away and work from this little nook at Boxyard RTP. It’s perched next to the cupcake shop on the second level and has the perfect view of folks coming and going.

Yesterday, after I set up “shop,” I ran into a colleague I hadn’t seen in a while. In the midst of exchanging pleasantries, she mentioned that she keeps up with this column and then said, “I try to read between the lines, but I’m always left wondering HOW you are.”

While I sincerely appreciated her interest, I got the sense that what she really wanted to say was, “I’m always left wondering WHO you are,” opting for the more polite inquiry instead.  

Either way, she’s right. I often write from the perspective of an observer – more as a guide or a good friend, rarely centering my own experiences. It’s a growth opportunity and one I decided to work on…immediately. 

To help inspire a shift in my perspective, I watched this year’s One Shining Moment, again and create...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

Last week we talked about cleaning out the ole junk drawer, and I was surprised by the response. Victory messages of carloads of stuff on the way to the recycling center. A funny text about renting a dumpster. One reader told me she shed tears after reorganizing her bathroom closet because she realized it’d been years since she’d taken the time to carefully fold and arrange her linens the way she used to.

Who knew there was a junk drawer crisis at hand?  But seriously, why did last week’s column resonate so much? Why does it feel so fulfilling to do such a simple task? Here’s why. An organized life or “junk drawer” symbolizes something very important that most high-performers crave but often don’t have. Control.

It means you’ve tamed the chaos, created some margin and… truly got your sh*t together.

**And if one of my readers cried while organizing her linen closet, you know this goes deeper than a Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.

Let’s be hone...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

Fall is here and at my house that means it’s time to clean out the junk drawer – both literally and figuratively. And call me weird, but I find this little activity pretty delightful. There’s something about sorting and purging a drawer of personal hidden treasures that gives me a lot of satisfaction.

Our lives have junk drawers too. Every day we collect new ideas, reinforce habits (good or bad) and invest in relationships at every level. We hold on to these things because they have value in the moment. And, we have every intention of putting them to good use, right? But, if we’re not careful, that drawer can get messy and indistinct – losing the very value it was created to support in the first place.

Now, if you’ve been reading along this year, you know that I believe in 90-day sprints – which essentially means I take stock of my “junk drawer” when the seasons change. I’ve found that regularly stepping back to see how I’m moving in the world help...