(First appeared in WRAL Techwire.)

Greetings from Boca Raton! This week’s blog is inspired by the Florida sunshine and glass of cucumber water. Two weeks ago, I shared that I was taking April off. More specifically, I blocked off any openings that had not already been scheduled and reserved them for me.

What a difference a choice makes! The act of preserving and protecting my time has already paid off in ways I would not have imagined. By deciding to say ‘no’ to new appointments, I built in more margin this month than I have in years. That one decision made it possible to schedule a quick trip to visit my son at Florida Atlantic University and drop in on a dear friend in Pompano Beach. Margin. A gift that I’ve clearly taken for granted.

This down time has brought me back to a book called Burnout – the Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Dr. Emily Nagoski and Dr. Amelia Nagoski. I’m rereading it, and like most things, it’s taken on new meaning in this season.  Here are a few of m...

(First appeared in WRAL Techwire.)

I’m taking April off!

Kinda. Nineteen days ago I snatched every block of uncommitted time I had this month and held it for me! I’m treating it like recess, so whatever I feel like doing, I’m gonna do.

My “come to Jesus” happened when a friend called to download her day and I teared up. I didn’t have it in me. The straw. The camel. I didn’t have it in me to care. As awful as that is to admit.

That feeling is called compassion fatigue and it’s one of the first signs of burnout. So, I did what any self-respecting human would do who makes a career out of personal development – I finished crying and bought a slice of salted caramel cake from Nantucket.

When I finally pulled myself together, I realized this was less about her and way more about me, my lack of emotional boundaries and my season of overcommitment.  Fast forward to today and I feel really good. I’m bringing more of the good stuff into my day and saying ‘no’ when it doesn’t serve me, even ...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

I am NOT a marathon runner. And running 26 miles is NOT on my bucket list.  Don’t get me wrong, I understand the satisfaction of training for something this coveted. Putting that medal around your neck signals dedication, discipline and determination. The thing is I’ve always been wired for a different race – sprints.

I’m a huge fan of sprints—for work, hobbies, and even workouts. Sprints keep me engaged, excited about my work and full of anticipation. But so often in my conversations these days, people are still talking about their day-to-day as if they are training for a marathon.  They’re describing it as monotonous, predictable and dare I say it…boring. Our daily routines have become one of dragging ourselves out of bed…to kitchen for coffee…to home office for virtual calls…to living room for TV and back to bed again. When life becomes a zombie-walk, we lose so much. 

 But guess what? It really doesn’t have to be this way. You can rewire your n...

(First appeared in WRAL Techwire.)

Today we’re bringing our series on impostor syndrome in for a landing! We’ve dug deep into the 5 various impostor archetypes Dr. Valerie Young identified in her book “The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women.” If you missed out, you’ll want to check out the past articles to learn more about each archetype, including what each looks like in real life.

But today we’re zooming out to look at impostor syndrome from 30,000 feet.  Generally, we default to our impostor archetypes when we’re feeling threatened, insecure or are questioning if we are ready for a new challenge. The question that rattles us so deeply is: “Do I really belong here? Do I have the right to be in this room?”

The following are four powerful tips that I use in my own life to help counteract this feeling of falling short or inadequacy.

• Get honest. Tell someone you are struggling. Listen to their response. Take their feedback to heart!
• Get rid of the “if/then” statements. Here are s
...

(First appeared in WRAL TechWire.)

Here’s a thought to start: “Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of blame, judgment, and shame.”

That’s from author Brené Brown, and, sure, we could just drop the mic here… because, well, Brené.  But, I still have more than 400 words left in this column, so let’s get after it.

It’s time to talk about The Perfectionist—the last archetype to unpack in our series on impostor syndrome. The perfectionist believes that the only way to be bulletproof is to never make a mistake. That’s right: never make a mistake. They labor to ensure everything they do and say is flawless.

Here’s how the perfectionist experiences impostor syndrome: you’re the fifth hire for a high growth, early stage startup.

New information is coming at you so fast you’re drinking from the proverbial fire hose.

You’re furiously taking ...

This week’s impostor archetype is a tricky one—the natural genius.

You know this person. They coasted through school, immediately landed a sweet job and have an uncanny ability to draw from various wells of knowledge in conversation. But when faced with a topic or role that is out of range or uniquely layered, they tend to shut down, hide or freak out.

This coping mechanism is tied to the fear of failure or being viewed as incompetent.

If you’re a natural genius, you might relate to this:

Let’s say you’ve recently been promoted. No surprise, you knocked it out of the park in your last role and fully expect to soar in this new one. You’re in your first team meeting and your colleagues are speaking in unrecognizable acronyms. The diagrams on the screen are Greek to you, and you realize this new position is going to require you to learn a new software—and you’re NOT technical. At first you’re like, I got this, but as you dig into the training materials, it’s not coming together for yo...

Happy International Women’s Day, Fam! In the spirit of waking up to a beautifully wrapped gift…we give you Battle Cry!!

• To the queens who straighten our crowns and raise the bar…thank you!

• To the women holdin’ it down in the community…I see you!

• To ALL of you who inspire me to dream bigger, work harder and see possibilities—I’m deeply grateful.

Today and everyday.

THE VIDEO AND POEM

*Battle Cry is a commissioned piece written by Dasan Ahanu and visually produced by TR Laww Production.

The incredible women featured are Reinvention Road Trip Alumnae & Friends (in order of appearance) Kezia ‘Kate’ Goodwin, Shawna McKinnon, Tiffany Roach, Lucia Grandison, Lisa Guckian, Nicholé Morgan, Nicky Charles, Dasan Ahanu

Ya’ll brought it!!

Watch Battle Cry on the Jes Averhart YouTube channel.

(First appeared in WRAL Techwire.)

Deconstructing impostor syndrome is like planning for battle. Once you discover the chinks in the armor, you can take that monster down with a swift arrow to the exact right spot.

In the last two weeks, we discussed the best way to counter the superwoman / superman and the soloist impostor archetypes. Today we’re going to equip you with everything you need to counter the expert archetype.

How do you know if you default to the expert? Well, you probably lean hard on credentials and believe more letters behind your name validate you. Here’s how it shows up in your everyday life.

Let’s say you’ve been plotting to make a career change. Your strategy is to demonstrate your value through knowledge because you don’t think your experience will cut it.  So, you earn a new certification, but after crossing that milestone, it still doesn’t feel like enough. No worries, you’ll just enroll in another degreed program and proudly frame the diploma behind your de...

(First appeared in WRAL Techwire.)

Hey we tried, but we can’t cover impostor syndrome in 500 words. It just can’t be done! Over the next six weeks we’ll zoom in on the what, why and how of it all. So let’s dig in so we can kick it to the curb.

Sweet Mary, impostor syndrome is getting a lot of attention these days. And while I have my opinions about why (which we’ll address in a later issue) it’s important to get the ball rolling on the topic by explaining the “what.”

Here’s the quick and dirty: impostor syndrome is the chronic feeling of inadequacy that, if not checked, can drive you off the road and into a wall of poor decisions, potentially stunting your forward momentum—like vying for that promotion, starting a new business or pursuing your master’s degree.

Turns out 70% of Americans admit to experiencing impostor syndrome. (And that’s just how many people admit to feeling this way.) JLo, Michelle Obama, Tom Hanks and even Maya Angelou have publicly admitted to falling prey to i...